Thursday, November 22, 2007

Worry? Me?

Worry? Me? Naaah...Worry was not a part of my vocabulary until I was 16 weeks pregnant. I just had a conversation with one of my friends about the joys of being pregnant. The frequent urination, morning sickness, and back pains just to name a few.

And at that 16th week of my pregnancy, I stopped in the bathroom on my way back to my desk to take part in one of the many joys (frequent urination) and there it was. The word all pregnant women dread. Spotting. My entire world changed from that moment on.

I went for a monthly check up with my OB the next day and I told her what I had seen. "It was brown,” She said I needed to take some tests and have a complete bed rest to prevent preterm labor. So I did exactly what my OB ordered.

At the 23rd week of my pregnancy, I felt the prick of the needle for a couple of times in my arm, (ouch!) I could feel the pit in my stomach get deeper and deeper. I had to take the Oral Glucose Tolerance Test because my blood sugar is high. I was referred to a nutritionist to start a new diet plan. So for the second time, I did what a rational and obedient mummie in my situation would do.

No one could take away the uncertainty I felt. No hugs or kisses from my hubby. No word of encouragement from my friends. How could anybody understand how I felt? I was scared about what was going to happen if I was going to lose my baby... and if ever that time comes and nobody's there to help me. What would I do? When would it happen? Would it hurt? How painful could it possibly be? I felt alone. But right now, I'm trying so hard not to worry... the little life in my belly is still growing. I am just happy to say that I am now 7 months pregnant with my baby Dana Chanelle.

Now I’m not saying all the worry is gone. It is still very much there. Just not as sharp as it was those past few weeks but I truly believe that all the anxiety I felt for those weeks made me a stronger person. Worry can be an obstacle that keeps you from seeing the little light and the end of the tunnel. Or in my case, the “little life” at the end of my tunnel. =)

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